Keep Yourself Sane When Things Feel Crazy

 

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed about recent events. There are a lot of really overwhelming, scary, and depressing things happening! What can you do to maintain your balance, stay grounded, and keep a sense of optimism?

Dr. Glenda Russell is a licensed psychologist and researcher in Colorado with whom I had the great fortune to work during my training in Michigan. In the short video below, she has some really important and reassuringly concrete things to say about moving forward during frightening times.

This clip is only five minutes long, but it can really help.

 

Did you find this message encouraging? I hope so, and I hope you have friends and loved ones to connect with!

If you need additional support dealing with symptoms of depression, PTSD, or anxiety from a qualified therapist, please review our quick chart to see how you can access our therapeutic services from anywhere in Pennsylvania!

Postpartum Peer Support Helps Physical and Mental Health

Find parent-to-parent nursing support BEFORE your baby is born so you can get real help and information for when you need it most (instead of too late)!

Having support makes it far more likely that you will be able to successfully initiate and maintain nursing and lactation.

Nursing your baby is not only good for the physical health of you and your child, but is also very helpful in promoting bonding and mental well-being for both. And having regular peer support and validation helps to alleviate postpartum mental health issues!

Also, remember that LaLecheLeague International supports the lactation needs of nonbinary / trans parents!

Happy Star Wars Day! And Free Comic Book Day!

 

It’s national Free Comic Book Day, support local business!

Some good recommendations for comics by BIPoC:

Bridging the gap from comics to Star Wars, here’s a cool illustrated book of the women of Star Wars:

Black characters of Star Wars:

 

Speaking of inclusivity, here are 5 Queer Things You Didn’t Know About Star Wars (or maybe you did!):

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Finally, it’s no secret on what historical premise Star Wars was based. Here Alegria Barclay nicely breaks down the social justice lessons found in Star Wars:

2019: United Nations’ International Year of Indigenous Languages

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Emma Stevens, a high school student in Eskasoni, Cape Breton, sings a gorgeous rendition of classic McCartney track in her native language, Mi’kmaq, as part of an effort to bring awareness to the United Nations International Year of Indigenous Languages.

 

(Full Mi’kmaq lyrics on YouTube page)

 

“Wherever you live, indigenous peoples are your neighbors”

To hear more about why it’s important to keep indigenous languages alive, see the video below:

Indigenous people of southeast Pennsylvania:

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One expression of genocide is destroying the language of a culture. Maintaining and reviving language is an important aspect of resisting cultural destruction and genocide!

 

 

Holocaust Remembrance Day

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” (– Attributed to Anne Frank)

Stanton’s 10 Stages of Genocide and how the US stacks up:

 

Reflect on your own values, and see what you may do to “start to improve the world.” ❤

Anti-Semitism Still Active

 

In 2019 in the United States of America, the Jewish community still experiences life-threatening anti-Semitism:

We don’t want more people to have to die singing.

Antisemitism is real and being stirred.

If the Jewish and Muslim communities can support one another, then others can–and must–also learn to de-escalate.

Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein, of Chabad of Poway, who was injured in the shooting today, wrote this post in March:

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If you would like to help in a concrete way, donations are being collected:

Be mindful of neighbors and coworkers who may be very affected by these events and check in with them if you can.

Be safe, and help others feel safe, too. ❤

Notre Dame Fire: Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

Header photo via Westcoaster

Millions around the world grieve a significant piece of European and world history:

As civilizations have experienced throughout the history of humanity:

 

When there is a loss grieved by so many at once, we may feel very connected to others or very isolated. Both are normal. You may have never been to the Cathedral, but it’s part of our communal knowledge and experience.

It can also feel strange and even dissociative to witness historic events–especially painful ones–as though we are observing history passing instead of being “inside” it, as usual. A significant historic event can bring up issues of mortality, death, and existential issues.

Make sure to take care of your physical body and to connect with others in a positive, everyday way as best you can when catastrophic events occur. Eat a meal with someone, stop for a drink, talk on the phone, stop at someone’s house to say “hi,” hold someone’s hand, go to a service, hug your children.

Targeted Violence in New Zealand Shatters the Peace for All

 

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We are saddened and outraged to hear of the deaths of 49 Muslim worshippers at the mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand. We extend our condolences to the Muslim community in New Zealand and also our Muslim neighbors locally.

A reminder to all that it is important to avoid sharing harmful imagery and materials that primarily publicize terrorist acts and terrorists. This includes the video livestreamed by the shooter, but also stills from the video. One reason is to avoid giving terrorists the publicity they crave, which can also encourage terrorist acts by others.

Another reason is to minimize traumatizing people by making exposure to images of actual violence and killings practically unavoidable as they go about their everyday lives. Traumatic material can severely affect not only those in the specific target group of the violence, but many others as well.

As the above Twitter user has pointed out, instead of giving terrorists free publicity, find ways to help, locally and internationally. Some ideas from others include: showing support and solidarity online or in person, contacting local Muslim organizations to offer help, or donating to specific victim aid.

For Muslims anywhere,

Be mindful of neighbors and coworkers who may be very affected by these events and check in with them if you can.

Be safe, and help others feel safe, too. ❤

Happy International Women’s Day!

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Happy International Women’s Day to ALL women ❤❤❤

Someone Said I Did A Racism; Now What? A Guide

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It’s the final day of Black History Month!
The past month has seen a number of high-profile figures being criticized for saying or doing racist things. In most cases that I saw, those in the spotlight made matters even worse by their responses. Have you wondered how you would respond in the same circumstance?
Nobody wants to think of themselves as racist. But the fact is, being raised in a racist society means that some of the time, we will all do or say some racist things, despite meaning well and often without even realizing it.
So what do you do if someone points out that what you have said or done is racist? Here is a guide.
1. First of all, hold that initial impulse to argue. Before you say anything, take a breath and pause for several seconds. If you must speak, say something like, “Okay. I need to think about this.”
2. On the emotional side, contain your defensiveness: Doing or saying a racist thing doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a bigot or a terrible person. Most people doing racist things are not bigots. It does mean that a piece of (very common!) racist conditioning has come up and it’s an opportunity to work on that and heal. If you are a person with a conscience and a heart, it will probably hurt to hear. That means your conscience and your heart are working! But try not to take this criticism as an attack. (This is hard!)
3. Recognize that your intention doesn’t excuse the outcome: If I run over your foot with my truck, it doesn’t matter whether I mean to or not. Your foot is going to be hurt–possibly broken. The same is true of racist acts and words. The vast majority of racism is unintentional, and it is injurious to others just the same.
So it’s okay if you find yourself saying “I didn’t mean to…” But recognize that is only the beginning, and only a tiny piece of the issue. It’s not an apology.
4. Try simply apologizing unconditionally and without a long explanation. It’s okay to say something like “I’m sorry. I see that was ugly.”  If this sounds hard (it is, emotionally speaking), try preparing by reviewing and practicing before this ever comes up, so you won’t be frozen or outraged if it happens. You may also want to review what not to do!
5. Manage your own feelings: This is really the hardest part.
Most of us, if not all, will feel defensive, hurt, attacked, misunderstood, guilty, sad, scared, angry, or some combination of the above. But those feelings are yours to manage, and you are strong enough to hold them.
Remember, the other person is not responsible for making you feel better for having hurt them, or to give you absolution. It’s especially important to let them have their feelings of upsetness without trying to talk them out of it or to burden them with the emotional work of reassuring you about it. That places additional work on them when they are already burdened with the hurt of racism, and it is unfair.
If you need to vent your feelings about this (which is healthy!) find someone else to talk with, preferably a racially conscious White friend or even a counselor. You may also want to journal, cry privately, read, pray, or meditate, just as you would with any other painful or uncomfortable feelings that you are processing.
6. What if they are wrong? Short answer: they’re not. Even though you didn’t mean it that way.
Think about it: if you are a White woman, haven’t you seen men doing sexism even when they didn’t realize it? Or they dismissed it? If you are a White person who is LGBT: haven’t you seen hetero people being homophobic or transphobic and then saying how much they love LGBT folks? Low-income people, haven’t you heard rich people talk about poor people like they really don’t matter at all in the ultimate equation? Yet if you asked them, they would probably say they like people generally, and had nothing against any particular poor person.
The worst judge of an -ism is the person committing it, and racism is no exception.
7. Don’t be discouraged from working on race issues: Pick it back up when you have healed. Think about your motives. Are you working on unlearning racism because it’s the right thing to do, or to get approval and recognition from people in a marginalized group? Work on race issues because you want to improve society, whether or not any specific BIPoC likes you (or you them). Unlearning is a lifelong process.
8. Develop authentic friendships: It is always more emotionally risky for a BIPoC to have a White friend than the other way around. So make yourself available, be friendly and helpful insofar as you are able, but remember that no one owes you friendship, no matter how nice you are to them. To borrow an analogy, friendship is not a vending machine.
For additional thoughts about interracial friendship, visit this thread:

PS: Whatever you do, resist the urge to do a “not all White People,” –no really, do not do a “not all White People.”