New York Passes Landmark LGBTQ Equality Legislation

New York State Bans Dangerous Conversion “Therapy,” Protects Gender Expression in legislation passed today:

Pennsylvania is NOT among the states to have passed a statewide ban on conversion “therapy.” Only 18% of our population is estimated to be protected by local bans in our state. Check out the maps on this site for more information:

 

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Honoring MLK Jr.’s 90th Birthday

 

Dr. Peniel Joseph from the Lyndon B. Johnson’s School of Public Affairs on remembering the real message of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s lifelong work, for which he gave his life:

America loves to praise Martin Luther King Jr. But we ignore his message.”

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Therapeutic Art: January 24

Single-Session two-hour small-group therapeutic art for adults: 

Thursday, January 24, 5-7pm: Art Therapy for Anxiety

~Appropriate for adults with OCD, Panic, Phobia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or other anxiety disorders.

~Online Signup via Eventbrite (or contact us directly)

 

 

~All supplies provided

~Many insurances will reimburse – please ask for a receipt

~If you are not a current client at Intersectional Life C&P, a referral from your current therapist is required ~OR~ if you don’t have a therapist you may request a brief screening interview (phone or in-person, 1/2 hour)

 

 

 

 

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Self-Care: It’s Okay Not to “Optimize” Yourself

Many people have been making New Year’s resolutions, and some are even sticking to them! For most people, however, they won’t last very long.

It’s completely valid to want to make changes to yourself and to your life, but pay attention to what you are telling yourself in the process. You may be telling yourself that you will finally be acceptable if you can meet your goals. The “if” lets us know that if we don’t meet our goals, we are not acceptable. We often believe (consciously or not) that there are only two choices: exceptionally fantastic, or…crap. (To state it plainly.)

Guess what? You are already acceptable! You are wonderful and miraculous! Yes, even on your bad days.

The idea that you aren’t good enough unless you are the best of the best is an expression of perfectionism, and perfectionism is a life-killer, a progress-killer, a killer of the good. We seek progress, not perfection.

Instead of telling yourself that you “must improve,” try the dialectical approach:

“I am already acceptable as I am, AND I would like to try doing this a different way to see if I like that better.” (No “buts” allowed!)

This makes it clear that it is a choice you are undertaking, rather than a “should.” Also, it is a way of making a choice to try change but without browbeating, judging, and criticizing yourself–all things that, ironically, make change much more difficult.

If you accept yourself as already okay, then you are free to try changing things all year around, as the opportunities present themselves. But–this is key–you don’t have to “improve” yourself in order to be acceptable.

While we’re here talking about accepting yourself, here is a great article about expressing your vulnerabilities:

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It’s Very Good; It’s Not Okay

It’s very good to support women and be anti-sexist; it’s not okay to use racism in critiquing sexism.

It’s very good to support BIPOC and be anti-racist: it’s not okay to use anti-gay prejudice in critiquing racism.

It’s very good to support LGBTQ folks and be anti-heterosexism/transphobia: it’s not okay to use classism in critiquing heterosexism/transphobia.

It’s very good to support financially marginalized people and be anti-poverty: it’s not okay to use ableism in critiquing classism.

It’s very good to support the disability community and be anti-ableist; it’s not okay to use ageism in critiquing ableism.

It’s very good to support the agency of children and elders and be anti-ageism; it’s not okay to use fatphobia in critiquing ageism.

It’s very good to support body positivity and be anti-fatmisia; it’s not okay to use sexism in critiquing fatphobia.


 

You can mix these up all you want and they still apply!

If we are pointing out someone’s problematic behavior or words, we must remember not to use problematic words of our own to characterize them.

If we do, we’re not just criticizing that person, we are playing into stereotypes and making life harder for vulnerable others who are not that person. We are engaging in bigotry ourselves!

For useful, practical ways to call out problematic behaviors and words, check out this helpful guide from Southern Poverty Law Center.

 

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