Flattening The Curve – Sessions Go Online This Week!

Dear clients, friends, and community members,

In light of recent recommendations from the medical community and state government to reduce social contact and public exposure in order to help reduce overall spread of the novel coronavirus, therapy sessions will be moving online as of the upcoming week (Monday 3/16/20). Let’s work together to #flattenthecurve and keep our community healthy!

waitingroom2

thera-link-mug

 

 

 

 

 

Thera-Link is a secure, HIPAA-compliant, appropriately encrypted platform that a number of clients have already been using since early 2019. Clients have joined therapy sessions using their computers and/or phones, and have so far usually reported it to be very easy to use.

Current clients will be contacted individually with the necessary information to join their therapy sessions this week. New clients* are also still welcome to schedule sessions!

Intersectional Life Counseling and Psychology offers remote video sessions (in-office sessions suspended temporarily) for PA residents, as well as sliding-scale rates from $70.

Please email us if you would like to schedule or have any questions!

(*Please note: clients MUST be in PA during sessions due to licensure and legal issues.)

StayHomeGame

Stay Home Simulator by Brendon Chung @BlendoGames

Flattening The Curve – Sessions Go Online This Week!

Dear clients, friends, and community members,

In light of recent recommendations from the medical community and state government to reduce social contact and public exposure in order to help reduce overall spread of the novel coronavirus, therapy sessions will be moving online as of the upcoming week (Monday 3/16/20). Let’s work together to #flattenthecurve and keep our community healthy!

waitingroom2

thera-link-mug

 

 

 

 

 

Thera-Link is a secure, HIPAA-compliant, appropriately encrypted platform that a number of clients have already been using since early 2019. Clients have joined therapy sessions using their computers and/or phones, and have so far usually reported it to be very easy to use.

Current clients will be contacted individually with the necessary information to join their therapy sessions this week. New clients* are also still welcome to schedule sessions!

Intersectional Life Counseling and Psychology offers remote video sessions (in-office sessions suspended temporarily) for PA residents, as well as sliding-scale rates from $70.

Please email us if you would like to schedule or have any questions!

(*Please note: clients MUST be in PA during sessions due to licensure and legal issues.)

StayHomeGame

Stay Home Simulator by Brendon Chung @BlendoGames

Keeping Your Balance in the Apocalypse

If you have been feeling worried about illness recently, you are definitely not alone. Even people who don’t normally experience health anxieties are affected by news regarding the novel coronavirus, COVID-19. Ships quarantined, cities locked down, schools closing, hospitals overwhelmed. Much of what we hear is the absolute worst of the news, and for now at least the rest is largely unknown.

An endless wave of bad news can certainly increase depression, while facing an unknown can increase anxiety,  so the situation is a recipe for increased stress on everyone’s mental health. In addition, we are carrying the weight of experiencing others’ stress and worries as well. It’s not only a nationwide mental health stressor, but a worldwide one.

It’s common for PTSD symptoms and anxiety symptoms generally to spike during times of crisis, especially for those who are in vulnerable marginalized groups. This is true whether or not you have a trauma history that is specifically related to the crisis itself. So you may be experiencing more symptoms such as insomnia, panic attacks, melancholy or dread, fibromyalgia, hives, flashbacks, migraines, dissociation, suicidality, agorophobia, or obsessions and compulsions, to name a few of the common ones.

Illness2_258-ted6683-jite

What to do first:

As in any times of crisis, there are four basic elements of self-stabilizing, beginning with the body.

First of all, you need sleep! If you are experiencing insomnia, address this first. Sleeplessness makes everything else hard to manage, both physically and mentally. You may use self-help methods or you may seek professional support from a therapist if your insomnia is entrenched.

Another aspect of stabilization is to make sure you are eating: get enough healthy fuel. If stress has activated disordered eating such as restricting or bingeing, don’t ignore it. Address it directly.

Exercise: If you already have a reasonable exercise program, do your best to maintain it. If you have begun to isolate, try just taking a 10-minute walk daily. Even mild exercise will help both your body and mind feel better and more able to handle whatever stresses are arising. Also, being outdoors and seeing other people can remind you that human life is continuing and you are still part of a mutually supportive, helpful society.

Which leads to another important aspect, that of social support. It’s important to connect with supportive others, in whatever format you can. Even if you must work from home, you can text or email or talk on the phone with someone. Make sure to do this daily!

Maintain Your Routine and Stay Connected

In the broader sense, counteract a sense of helpless disaster by focusing your perception on the many thousands of highly capable and caring people in every possible area of life–health care workers, emergency workers, researchers, spiritual leaders, parents, neighbors, friends–who are planning and preparing to support, save, and take care of all of us as best they can. Maybe you are one of those people!

Remember that your fellow humans feel a sense of care and responsibility towards you, just as you feel towards them. We protect and help one another to get through. And as Mr. Rogers famously described, “looking for the helpers” is a good way to reassure yourself in a crisis. Becoming one of the helpers yourself–even in a small, neighborly way–can help you to feel less powerless.

When you have stabilized your primary needs as best you can

The next step is to do your emotional self-care. First of all, accept your emotions. It is reasonable to feel scared or angry or any other emotion in a crisis. So have acceptance for whatever those feelings may be, and find ways to comfort yourself.

The trick, however, is to not buy into the cognitions that anxiety or depression may generate. Recognize that if your thoughts are becoming dreadful, it’s likely you are experiencing catastrophization or similar cognitive distortions. One way to reframe this for yourself is to recognize what you have control over (sensible interventions and planning) and what you do not have control over (worldwide events).

If it is something that you do have control over (sensible hygiene, having medications and basic supplies available, planning alternate child care / work locations, rescheduling travel), then implement those things. But worrying will not help you with the implementation.

If it is something you do not have control over, then again–worrying will not help. You may feel afraid and it is worth talking through the fear with someone. But you may need to let go of a sense that you must control the situation in order to survive it. Much of this is out of your control and anyone else’s! Seek solidly data-driven, practical sources of information rather than sensationalized or over-minimized sources. This will help you know what to actually prepare for.

The worry protocol includes not only contagion, but another common anxiety: financial fears. For some, this is regarding recent stock market drops, and for others, simply the ability to pay rent each month when society is disrupted or they could become ill. Again, the worry protocol holds: sensibly plan and implement the parts that you can. The parts that are out of your control may happen or they may not. If they do happen, you and others will do your best to recover and repair as soon as you are able. You may or you may not incur losses, but you will deal with those if they occur.

So…in order to keep yourself emotionally stable:

Take good care of yourself, accept your emotions, manage your cognitions, make practical plans that are based on reality, relinquish control of the uncontrollable, maintain your routines as best you can, and find some way to become a helper. If you are struggling with these issues, consider seeing a therapist to help you sort through them!

Intersectional Life Counseling and Psychology offers in-office sessions (and remote video sessions for PA residents), as well as sliding-scale rates from $70. Please contact us if you would like to schedule or have any questions!

Your Loved One Has Dissociative Identity Disorder?

If you have a loved one who has Dissociative Identity Disorder (AKA “multiple personalities”), you may have felt uneasy or even frightened at times. It can be disconcerting to think you do not really know who they are. It may be awful to think of the traumatic experiences they survived that led to the dissociation.

This is partly because for many people, the only understanding they have of Dissociative Identity Disorder comes from sensationalized depictions in movies or TV, showing DID experiencers as unpredictable, deceptive, violent–nearly supernaturally so!

But it’s important to take a pragmatic approach to understanding this experience and not to exoticize or blame your loved one.

In other words, they are not an exotic disorder. They are not their traumatic experiences. They are not possessed. They did not “cause” the disorder. They did not ask for nor deserve the trauma during which it developed. They aren’t “faking.” They are not a case for you to manage. They are a regular person who needs love, acceptance, and healing.

Everyone has “parts” –different personality presentations and experiences that are expressed in different situations. We all act at least somewhat differently at a job interview than at the club, or at church, or with a close friend who is very accepting, or in class, or around a judgmental neighbor, or around a secret crush.

The main difference is that for those who have DID, those different presentations have become dissociated from each other: there is a disruption of the underlying thread of memory and consciousness that most of us have between all our parts.

An important thing to remember is that while you may not like one or some of your loved one’s parts (and you don’t have to!), there are no “bad” parts. Every part’s feelings are a valid expression, even if not every part’s wishes should be acted on.

Nothing your loved one experiences is beyond the understanding of humans generally. You don’t need to be an expert in Internal Family Systems to connect with them. It’s useful to have some information, but primarily, just be a human with a loving connection. ❤

If you are interested in reading more in-depth about Dissociative Identity Disorder from someone who experiences it, here is an essay that is addressed to therapists but may also be useful for others who have loved ones with this type of dissociation:

TEN STEPS TO BECOMING A DISSOCIATION-FRIENDLY THERAPIST

 

 

Immigrant Families Finding Therapy

Because of the many layers of stresses and even traumas associated with immigration, immigrants and their families may face high levels of mental distress. This includes things such as traumatic events that were severe enough to make them leave their home country in the first place, as well as the great difficulties in adjusting to a new and sometimes hostile environment.

In today’s social and political climate, stresses and traumas are higher than ever, making mental health support even more crucial. But as challenging as getting started with therapy can be, it can be even harder for immigrants and their families.

This piece by Lauren Hodges explains why, and offers MANY great suggestions to help you or a family member get mental health support!

 

 

ap_17263018335183-cd15a268ba5d364fe456c4218bda747f0ccb2177-s800-c85

 

You Are Not Your Trauma

 

An early experience of trauma can have effects that you may not start experiencing until adulthood. It can feel “crazy”! But having PTSD symptoms doesn’t mean that you will always feel that way. It means that you have emotions and reactions that are ready to be processed so that you can begin healing.

While healing from trauma can be a lifelong process, you can often start feeling better in many ways right away! You are still a whole, worthy human being, rich in the capacity to enjoy life in your own ways.

If you are ready to start processing, please review our quick chart to see how you can access our therapeutic services from anywhere in Pennsylvania!

 

You Are Already Worthy!

 

Calling yourself “lazy” or “unproductive” is usually an internalized message of shame from your formative years. The message is “If you would just ‘will’ yourself to do more, then you would be acceptable and worthy. Otherwise, you must just be a bad, unworthy person.”

The fact is, you are already acceptable and worthy, without doing anything to “earn” that worth. Now, you might feel better or happier if you were doing certain things, and they are certainly worth trying, to see if that is the case.

But feeling terrible about yourself is not a good motivator for anyone! In fact, it is likely to worsen your exhaustion, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and concentration, which will make it even harder to do whatever it is you would like to be doing.

If you are ready to start healing your self-worth, please review our quick chart to see how you can access our therapeutic services from anywhere in Pennsylvania!

 

Mental Health: Accepting Healing Over Time

 

Valarie Ward has written a good breakdown of how pop mental health writing is often not only unhelpful, but perpetuates stigma and judgment. Treatment–whether chemical, cognitive, or situational–can support and help to heal mental health, but it’s not a magical instant “cure.”

It’s useful to find the type of treatment or intervention that is most helpful and supportive to YOU. It doesn’t mean you’re “doing it wrong” if you still have symptoms or flare-ups. It means that humans are biological, not mechanical objects that can have new parts swapped in for an instant fix. [See: PTSD as chronic illness]

There is nothing wrong with trying to find things that help you feel better and function better. We encourage you to explore treatment modalities!

But the danger in chasing a “cure” can be the idea that if it’s not “cured,” then we just aren’t trying hard enough. Plenty of people with mental illness and injury hear this message from well-meaning friends, family, and loved ones, though sometimes in different words.

“You’ve been in therapy for weeks/months/years, why isn’t it helping?”: If it’s truly not helping, then of course try something else, or something additional!

But often this really means “I’m upset that you’re not ‘cured’ yet.” Unfortunately, we may also internalize these messages ourselves, which just means that we have found another “should” with which to beat ourselves up; another way to use perfectionistic standards against ourselves.

Instead, notice how far you’ve come since you started working on your healing. Even if it has only been a few days, I bet you already learned some things that help you to comfort yourself or to reframe your thoughts in a healthy way that hurts less!

And if you’ve been working on healing for a while, I bet you are experiencing more days during which you can get out of bed. Or get out of the house. Or days you can do some meaningful work or play. Or days you can spend time with your children. Or fewer days spent in the hospital. Or a better ability to see yourself having a future. Or a few more relationships that are going a little better than they used to. I bet you’ve already done a lot more healing than you think!

So instead of beating up on yourself for not suddenly being “cured” or “fixed,” take stock of how your healing really is progressing, and be proud of yourself. ❤

 

Holocaust Remembrance Day

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” (– Attributed to Anne Frank)

Stanton’s 10 Stages of Genocide and how the US stacks up:

 

Reflect on your own values, and see what you may do to “start to improve the world.” ❤

Anti-Semitism Still Active

 

In 2019 in the United States of America, the Jewish community still experiences life-threatening anti-Semitism:

We don’t want more people to have to die singing.

Antisemitism is real and being stirred.

If the Jewish and Muslim communities can support one another, then others can–and must–also learn to de-escalate.

Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein, of Chabad of Poway, who was injured in the shooting today, wrote this post in March:

Yisroel

If you would like to help in a concrete way, donations are being collected:

Be mindful of neighbors and coworkers who may be very affected by these events and check in with them if you can.

Be safe, and help others feel safe, too. ❤