Self-Care: It’s Okay Not to “Optimize” Yourself

Many people have been making New Year’s resolutions, and some are even sticking to them! For most people, however, they won’t last very long.

It’s completely valid to want to make changes to yourself and to your life, but pay attention to what you are telling yourself in the process. You may be telling yourself that you will finally be acceptable if you can meet your goals. The “if” lets us know that if we don’t meet our goals, we are not acceptable. We often believe (consciously or not) that there are only two choices: exceptionally fantastic, or…crap. (To state it plainly.)

Guess what? You are already acceptable! You are wonderful and miraculous! Yes, even on your bad days.

The idea that you aren’t good enough unless you are the best of the best is an expression of perfectionism, and perfectionism is a life-killer, a progress-killer, a killer of the good. We seek progress, not perfection.

Instead of telling yourself that you “must improve,” try the dialectical approach:

“I am already acceptable as I am, AND I would like to try doing this a different way to see if I like that better.” (No “buts” allowed!)

This makes it clear that it is a choice you are undertaking, rather than a “should.” Also, it is a way of making a choice to try change but without browbeating, judging, and criticizing yourself–all things that, ironically, make change much more difficult.

If you accept yourself as already okay, then you are free to try changing things all year around, as the opportunities present themselves. But–this is key–you don’t have to “improve” yourself in order to be acceptable.

While we’re here talking about accepting yourself, here is a great article about expressing your vulnerabilities:

woman20under20stress

Dare to Dream

Dare to Dream…by Stacey Murrell

When I was a little girl I did not have the luxury of dreaming. Life required my constant attention if my family and I were to survive. It wasn’t until I went to junior high school and began to take field trips outside of my community that I dreamt of becoming a News Anchor. I could envision myself on television sitting behind the desk and delivering powerful stories that would change people’s lives. They would see me as a compassionate change agent that would “get it done”. They would feel so connected that they would want to reach into the television and give me a hug, knowing I would return the love.

Today as a woman, I AM…a compassionate change agent who gets it done! I am a survivor. I am a nurse. I am a speaker. I am a teacher. I am a writer. I am an encourager.  I am a professional. I am an overcomer with scars both physical and emotional that prove I have survived. I am things that I don’t even know that I am because I choose to believe that I am everything that God says I am.

It’s hard at times to always look upward. The very life can get sucked out of you. I have learned that I do not want the attention of a worldwide news anchor but rather the satisfaction of knowing that through speaking, writing, encouraging and developing others, I am indeed sitting at the desk of my own life with God as my audience of one. If He is pleased than my work, whatever it is, is good!

Take 10 seconds and close your eyes. Envision where you want to be. Take a mental snapshot and frame it on your heart. There is always hope!

 

You can reach Stacey at MasterThePieces@gmail.com or (716) MASTR-PC [716-627-772]