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Notre Dame Fire: Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

Header photo via Westcoaster

Millions around the world grieve a significant piece of European and world history:

As civilizations have experienced throughout the history of humanity:

 

When there is a loss grieved by so many at once, we may feel very connected to others or very isolated. Both are normal. You may have never been to the Cathedral, but it’s part of our communal knowledge and experience.

It can also feel strange and even dissociative to witness historic events–especially painful ones–as though we are observing history passing instead of being “inside” it, as usual. A significant historic event can bring up issues of mortality, death, and existential issues.

Make sure to take care of your physical body and to connect with others in a positive, everyday way as best you can when catastrophic events occur. Eat a meal with someone, stop for a drink, talk on the phone, stop at someone’s house to say “hi,” hold someone’s hand, go to a service, hug your children.

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What to Say Around the Table

For many people, the holidays are a time of increased anxiety and depression because of ongoing family conflict. Often people struggle to find ways to respond to outrageous or subtle expressions of prejudice or bigotry. Responding to the prejudice of family members and neighbors is even harder if you experience anxiety, PTSD, or your family is a mental health risk! It can help to make sure you are feeling stable yourself, and to be prepared beforehand.

First of all, remember to take care of yourself. You deserve protection, and you are allowed to set boundaries about how family members treat you! You are also allowed to withdraw and rest when you need to, to ask for help with tasks, to say “no” to unwanted activities, and to take care of bodily functions such as eating and going to the bathroom. That may sound obvious to some, but if your family has some dysfunction, those may be things you need to practice allowing yourself.

Secondly, try reading through this list of six steps (below) to speaking up. It will help you to frame your responses and to feel stable in your understanding, which will reduce your anxiety about a possible confrontation even if no conflict occurs. It also explains how to point out unacceptable behavior without name-calling or escalation:

Six Steps to Speaking Up Against Bigotry

If you are interested in broadening your skills in speaking up, here is a comprehensive list of a variety of situations and topics for which you might need a concrete and useful way to respond:

Responding to Everyday Bigotry

Have a peaceful and healthy weekend!