A great list of resources compiled by Dr. Petra Boynton:
You can’t claim to love your neighbor while extending more sympathy, support, and protection to their murderers than to them. 💔
End white silence. Stop racist violence.
Above, Header Photo: Chuck Modi
Having started and re-started writing this post, I find there is little to say that hasn’t already been said repeatedly. Find the helpers. BE the helper. Check in with marginalized friends and coworkers. Survival is resistance, joy is resistance. Speak out. Educate yourself. Educate others.
But here we are again, grieving and angry, terrified and horrified, shocked but not surprised:
The fact is, until we name White supremacy, racist violence will continue. Until we name misogyny, gendered violence will continue. Until we name the obvious, overt prejudice and discrimination that feeds the violence, it will persist. It’s not an outlier, it’s a prime societal driver. Denial is complicity. Silence is complicity. Every racist and sexist joke left uncriticized has contributed to these atrocities. Every classist, nationalistic assertion left uncontested has contributed to these horrors. Every paltry excuse for violence has made room for further violence.
Speak the names of the victims. And find out how to say them correctly.
Find ways to help.
Stop making excuses. Stop accepting excuses. You can’t claim to love your neighbor while extending more sympathy, support, and protection to their murderers than to them. 💔
Holocaust Remembrance Day
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” (– Attributed to Anne Frank)
Stanton’s 10 Stages of Genocide and how the US stacks up:
Reflect on your own values, and see what you may do to “start to improve the world.” ❤
Anti-Semitism Still Active
In 2019 in the United States of America, the Jewish community still experiences life-threatening anti-Semitism:
We don’t want more people to have to die singing.
Antisemitism is real and being stirred.
If the Jewish and Muslim communities can support one another, then others can–and must–also learn to de-escalate.
Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein, of Chabad of Poway, who was injured in the shooting today, wrote this post in March:
If you would like to help in a concrete way, donations are being collected:
Be mindful of neighbors and coworkers who may be very affected by these events and check in with them if you can.
Be safe, and help others feel safe, too. ❤
Targeted Violence in New Zealand Shatters the Peace for All
We are saddened and outraged to hear of the deaths of 49 Muslim worshippers at the mosques in Christchurch, New Zealand. We extend our condolences to the Muslim community in New Zealand and also our Muslim neighbors locally.
A reminder to all that it is important to avoid sharing harmful imagery and materials that primarily publicize terrorist acts and terrorists. This includes the video livestreamed by the shooter, but also stills from the video. One reason is to avoid giving terrorists the publicity they crave, which can also encourage terrorist acts by others.
Another reason is to minimize traumatizing people by making exposure to images of actual violence and killings practically unavoidable as they go about their everyday lives. Traumatic material can severely affect not only those in the specific target group of the violence, but many others as well.
As the above Twitter user has pointed out, instead of giving terrorists free publicity, find ways to help, locally and internationally. Some ideas from others include: showing support and solidarity online or in person, contacting local Muslim organizations to offer help, or donating to specific victim aid.
For Muslims anywhere,
Be mindful of neighbors and coworkers who may be very affected by these events and check in with them if you can.
Be safe, and help others feel safe, too. ❤
It’s Very Good; It’s Not Okay
It’s very good to support women and be anti-sexist; it’s not okay to use racism in critiquing sexism.
It’s very good to support BIPOC and be anti-racist: it’s not okay to use anti-gay prejudice in critiquing racism.
It’s very good to support LGBTQ folks and be anti-heterosexism/transphobia: it’s not okay to use classism in critiquing heterosexism/transphobia.
It’s very good to support financially marginalized people and be anti-poverty: it’s not okay to use ableism in critiquing classism.
It’s very good to support the disability community and be anti-ableist; it’s not okay to use ageism in critiquing ableism.
It’s very good to support the agency of children and elders and be anti-ageism; it’s not okay to use fatphobia in critiquing ageism.
It’s very good to support body positivity and be anti-fatmisia; it’s not okay to use sexism in critiquing fatphobia.
You can mix these up all you want and they still apply!
If we are pointing out someone’s problematic behavior or words, we must remember not to use problematic words of our own to characterize them.
If we do, we’re not just criticizing that person, we are playing into stereotypes and making life harder for vulnerable others who are not that person. We are engaging in bigotry ourselves!
For useful, practical ways to call out problematic behaviors and words, check out this helpful guide from Southern Poverty Law Center.
Supporting Vulnerable Friends and Acquaintances During Violent News Cycles
Above, Header Photo: Ryan Loew/PublicSource
Above Photo: Cox Media/WFTV9
Violence is committed every day, but people in marginalized groups experience violence at considerably higher rates than majority group members, and more often simply because of who they are. For minority group members, this can lead to a pervasive (and frankly, realistic) sense of vulnerability that causes increased symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD, especially when hate-based violence is a news event.
Jeffrey Marsh has some gentle suggestions for being supportive:
Checking in and validating–without pressuring someone to talk or to help you to process–can be helpful, especially if you are willing to simply allow your friend or loved one to have the space to manage their feelings.
Publicly speaking out to or among other majority group members can also be helpful: for example, share a supportive post. But consider sharing a post that does NOT include graphic images or footage of violence. People who live with the threat of violence daily don’t need further exposure and may feel even more vulnerable.
It is common for PTSD symptoms to spike during times of social upheaval, especially for those who are in marginalized groups or who have abuse histories.
Nicole Sanchez, a lecturer at UC UC Berkeley Haas School of Business, has some useful insights about how we can support marginalized friends and coworkers during critical events. She’s talking about race, but much of the dynamics also apply to events affecting LGBTQ folks (and other marginalized groups).
(Threadreader compiled version here.)
Let people know they are loved and valued and that you want them to be safe, happy, and thriving! ❤
American Psychological Association on Race Discussions
A brief introduction to race discussion.
Racism needs to be confronted in a useful way. Remember, “you don’t get points for disagreement if that disagreement happens in silence.” – J. Pavlovitz
For concrete, practical, simple approaches for speaking up in many situations, read Southern Poverty Law Center’s Responding to Everyday Bigotry.
A Year After Charlottesville: Combating Hate
“We can’t assume others will do the talking.” Heather Heyer’s mother discusses learning to speak out:
Southern Poverty Law Center’s “Ten Ways”:
Intersectional Life Counseling and Psychology, LLC 